I know I should be in bed because not only am I sick but I am exhausted in every single way possible. Yeah, well, I don't care. I desperately need to scream a bit.

I don't think anyone really understands how frustrated I am when it comes to this flu. I have been cooped up in this house since Tuesday morning. I love my family and all but I need. To get. The fuck. OUT. I'm starting to lose my cool around here and I'm just being and all around bitch. I mean, I almost freaked out on my dad when I dropped my pills. Why? Because I hate this flu, I haven't eaten a legit meal since Monday night, my head feels like it's splitting into two since Monday, I haven't slept well for ages and I'm very lonely. I hate it! I hate it all!

I now can't eat a damn thing or else I get the stomach cramps from hell. This only happened - uh, what? - Yesterday? After I ate noodles? Now I can't stomach crackers or even soup?! My God, I swear I'm dying. I think that'd be a gift right now. (Yeah, I said it!) I just want to lay down and die at this point. I feel so miserable. I can't stand this.

To make things worse, I had to cancel all of my Halloween-related plans. I was supposed to have a complete blast with friends but no. God hates me and so I had to cancel. I think today, in all, I've had two or three conversations with two or three people outside my house since no one decided to answer their phone or texts.

This sucks. This just really sucks. I just want to get better and go outside. I just want to hug a friend. That's all.